Pip the Goat
by Chironex27
Summary: A young goat's mother is killed by a wolf. The goat is left with an uncaring herd, and a hurt heart. Desiring revenge, the goat goes to confront the wolf, but doesn't get what he expects. Those of you familiar with Ringing Bell will be able to easily catch on the material from the story that I used, though I believe that at a certain point, this becomes more of my own story. Enjoy.


(This story is heavily based off of the animated movie _Ringing Bell_, the beginning being almost identical.)

_Pip the Goat_

In a sunny barn located among the mountains, there lived a goat herd, cared for by the humans of the farm. Amongst the young goats in the herd was a kid named Pip. Like many children, Pip was a playful, energetic child who loved his mother. Pip's mother cared very much for her son, and wanted to keep him safe. She was right to be cautious, because beyond the fence of the barn, there was a dark forest. All the kids in the barn were warned to never go beyond the fence because of a monstrous wolf that lived in the forest. The wolf was believed to be a monster by the goats, a monster that killed any goat that went beyond the fence. No human could ever catch or kill this wolf, as he was a clever and deceptive beast. Some nights, as the goats lay sleeping, they would be woken up by the sound of the wolf howling and tremble with a primordial fear. However, Pip was a carefree goat and never concerned himself with the wolf, and despite the warnings to their children, most of the herd did not worry themselves with the wolf either, believing themselves to be safe behind the wooden fence, protected by dogs and men with guns. So the goats lived contented, growing fat on the grass and clovers that grew on the pasture.

Pip grew with the herd, happy to be with his mother, carefree in the pasture. Like any curious child, Pip would sometimes wander close to the fence, where he could almost believe that he could see or hear the wolf, drawn to the woods by the wolf's dark and mysterious presence. However, Pip's mother was diligent in keeping him away from the fence, and so Pip never managed to go beyond. Pip's life went on with the other goats, head butting and prancing with the other kids, happy in life and believing that nothing could ever harm him or his mother behind the barn's fence.

One day, Pip noticed that the air was cold, and white flakes were falling from the sky. It was his first winter. This made Pip's mother worried, knowing that food amongst the dark forest would be scarce, which would make the wolf desperate. However, like any of the other goats she believed that no one would be hurt who remained in the boundaries of the fence. Even Pip's occasional curious ventures out to the fence's rim became less common as the air got colder, and Pip chose to stay next to the warm body of his mother. Most of the feeding done by the herd was inside the barn, where the humans would pour out feed for the goats, so there was even less reason to go far out into the pasture.

But the goats did not know that the fence was old, and the planks were rotten in some places. One or two of the goats later thought that they saw one of them broken, but they still did not concern themselves with it, believing that the humans would notice the damage. However, one foggy day, Pip was out with his mother and the herd, dispersed amongst the pasture. Even though it was cold, Pip was still able to romp and play a little, not moving far from his mother, but just far enough away that soon Pip lost sight of her. Scared, Pip looked around for his mother, but he couldn't see her.

"Pip?" Pip heard his mother's voice not far away. "Pip! Where are you?"

"I'm here Mama!" Pip bleated back.

Relieved to hear his mother and her approaching footsteps, Pip walked towards where he thought that she was, where he heard the footsteps. However, as he walked, Pip realized that something was wrong. The footsteps sounded strange. They didn't sound the way that Pip's mother's hooves clattered over the ground, or like that of any goat, for that matter. It almost sounded like a dog's paws as it walked along the ground, but so quietly that Pip could barely hear it.

Pip didn't know it, but he was actually at the very edge of the herd. Throughout the herd, some ancient, frightening instinct awoke in the goats that they didn't understand. They couldn't see or smell anything through the fog, and everything seemed quiet, but something made each of them shiver to their bones. Pip stopped walking towards the sound, but he did not turn around quickly enough to avoid seeing what was making the sound.

Out of the fog came a dark, shadowy shape with eyes that glinted like steel. To a human, the shape would have seemed just like a dog, but even the young Pip could tell from the long profile, the erect ears, and those flinty eyes that this was something horrifying, something that the instincts of a goat made him know he had to get away from, but he couldn't move. Pip was transfixed, horrified as the wolf's lips curled up to reveal teeth as white as milk, unleashing a snarl that gave Pip a sick, icy feeling in his heart.

Nearby, an old goat suddenly bleated out; "WOLF!", sending the herd into a panic, but not before the wolf squatted on his feet and leapt at Pip.

"No!" Pip heard his mother cry as she leapt between him and the wolf, exposing the back of her neck to the white-fanged monster. The wolf closed its teeth around the goat and Pip heard a loud crack like the sound of a big branch breaking. The wolf's jump pushed Pip's mother back, knocking Pip off his feet.

Pip got up, realizing that his mother had been hurt. He didn't even notice that the wolf was standing over him as Pip looked at his mother. Pip's mother was facing him when she was knocked over, but her eyes were closed. Her eyes wouldn't open, even when Pip began to cry to her. He didn't know what had happened.

Pip looked up and saw the wolf standing over him and his mother. His steely eyes moved slowly from Pip's mother to Pip, and Pip cowered back again. The wolf's eyes rested on Pip for some time, though Pip couldn't tell. All around Pip there were the sounds of the other goats running around blind and panicking, bleating to each other about the wolf. An older goat got separated from the heard, accidentally running towards Pip and the wolf. Realizing what she had done, the old goat bleated in terror and tried to turn around, but the wolf had seen her and jumped on her. The goat stopped moving like Pip's mother and lay quiet. Without another look at Pip, the wolf took the old goat in his teeth and ran off. Soon came the sound of dogs barking and men yelling, some of them firing off guns, but the wolf had come and left too quickly, being long gone before the humans even realized he was there.

The herd soon quieted down as the humans and dogs put it under control. However, Pip was left with his mother, who still wouldn't get up. Pip had never seen anything die before, but he eventually realized that his mother would not get up, and that she was gone. Breaking down, Pip fell on his mother's body, crying until he was carried back to the barn, and his mother's body was taken away. Pip continued to cry as he was put in the barn, and though he stopped from exhaustion and fell asleep as night came, the morning found him despondent and unwilling to eat.

A few days later, the sun came out again and the goat herd trotted back outside, taking advantage of the grass and clovers in the pasture. Pip was taken out into the pasture too, but he was alone, while all the other kids were prancing around with their mothers and friends. None of the other goats talked to Pip, even when he eventually tried to talk to them. The others were simply back to eating again, unworried and unburdened now that the humans had fixed the fence. But Pip was unsatisfied, and still filled with sorrow.

He didn't understand. Why did this happen to his mother? How could such a horrible thing happen at all, when he was lead to believe that nothing like this ever would happen?

These questions remained with Pip, and even when he was able to bring himself to talk to the other goats about them, no one would answer him. They didn't concern themselves with such questions. As long as they could live happy and fat off of the pasture, what concern was it to them? With these questions, Pip became a morose kid, isolating him more and more from the other goats.

Every day that passed by only served to remind him of the loss of his mother. Whenever he went out to pasture, he remembered how he used to be able to play with the other kids, knowing that his mother was not far behind, how she stayed with him when they were eating. As his sadness grew, so did his anger. The wolf had killed Pip's mother, and he couldn't understand why. Pip grew to hate the wolf, and he wanted what happened to his mother to happen to the wolf. He wanted the wolf to die, to kill the wolf for what he had done.

One day, Pip's anger and sadness grew to a point that he couldn't stand anymore. He walked out of the herd. For the first time, a few of the other goats noticed him as he slipped underneath the fence, though none were willing to get close enough to the fence to pull him back. He crawled through the tall grass and shrubs, avoiding the gaze of any of the humans and dogs. Alone, Pip went into the dark forest to kill the wolf. He didn't stop to think and realize that he was one-fifth the wolf's size, and that he hadn't even grown out his horns yet. He only knew that the wolf had hurt him, and that he wanted to make the wolf pay for what he had done.

Pip walked further and further into the forest. All day he searched, driven beyond his fear of the dark. Soon, he realized that the birds were singing less often, that it was getting quieter. He was struck by the stillness that he was experiencing, both in the lack of noise and the lack of light. He knew that the wolf must be nearby.

Soon, he arrived in a dark clearing. As Pip's eyes adjusted to the light, he saw the black wolf lying on a boulder. He had been asleep, but as Pip walked into the clearing, the wolf's eyes opened and rested on Pip. Pip's instincts were pushing at him to run away as fast as he could, but his sadness and anger at the wolf was greater.

"Wolf! You killed my mother! I'm going to make you pay!"

Pip threw himself at the wolf, but the wolf batted him aside with his paw, and Pip was knocked onto his back. He forced himself to get up and try again, but the wolf simply batted him away again. Pip tried over and over to attack the wolf, but the wolf was too big and too smart to get hurt by such a tiny goat.

Dazed and tired, Pip struggled to get up. He looked into the wolf's steely eyes. He had not even moved from his boulder. For the first time since he had come, he was scared.

The wolf waited as Pip got up and Pip looked at him. He spoke to him.

"Go home little goat."

The wolf's voice was deep and raspy. Simply the sound of it made Pip tremble as much as the wolf's appearance.

"Leave me alone and go home."

Pip took a step back, but he couldn't face going back. He had come for a reason and he didn't want to leave.

"You killed my mother!" Pip shouted at the wolf.

The wolf didn't answer.

"Why!? Why did you do something like that?" Pip continued to shout.

"I was hungry." The wolf responded. The wolf cringed, as if something in his stomach was bothering him. Pip realized that he could very well be eaten by this wolf, and tensed up, ready to run away for his life if he had to. The wolf crawled off of his rock, and Pip took another step back, but the wolf took no more interest in Pip.

Trying to make himself braver, Pip tried to shout again at the wolf, but it barely came out as more than a whisper. "You're a monster."

The wolf scowled at Pip, but did nothing more. Looking more closely at the wolf, Pip saw that there were silver hairs covering his muzzle. The wolf, still scowling, ate some of the grass that was on the ground.

Shocked, Pip asked him, angry; "Why did you kill my mother if you can eat grass!?"

"I can't." The wolf responded. "I only eat grass when my stomach's sick." The wolf grimaced. "Here, watch."

The wolf made a nasty wretching sound, and Pip struggled to watch as he vomited. Satisfied, the wolf crawled back up to his boulder and lay down again.

It didn't seem right to Pip. How could the wolf just sit there and ignore him after what he had done?

"You're a monster." Pip said again.

The wolf rolled his eyes. "Kid, will you please go home? Don't you get that you shouldn't be here? I'm a wolf. I eat goats. You should go away."

"But why do you have to eat goats at all?" Pip demanded to know. "Why didn't you just leave us alone?"

"I told you, I was hungry." The wolf answered again. "I can't eat grass like you goats do, so I have to have meat. There are no deer in the woods now that it's winter, and it's hard to get a hold of anything that can fill me up enough left. I had to get a goat."

Pip would not give up, no matter how determined the wolf was to ignore him. He was not satisfied with answers that he could have gotten from another goat. "You're still a monster."

The wolf sighed. "Look goat, if I could, I'd eat grass like you do. It would make it a lot easier for me. But I can't. It's not like I enjoyed killing your mother or any goat. I admit, I like to hunt, but it's hard, and if I could, I'd do something easier." The wolf turned over on his side, away from Pip. "Now will you go away and let me sleep in peace?"

Pip, angry, shouted at the wolf again. "You killed my mother! I won't go!" Pip gave one more attempt to rush the wolf. The wolf jumped over Pip, and Pip ran into the boulder headfirst. Pip cringed and put his hooves over his head, where a giant bump bulged out. Unable to contain himself anymore, Pip fell onto his stomach and wept. "Why? Why did she have to die? Why did you have to kill her?"

The wolf let Pip cry himself out, standing over him. When Pip looked up and saw that the wolf had not moved, the wolf spoke to him again.

"I wasn't trying to kill your mother."

Pip blinked tears out of his eyes, confused and suspicious. He thought that he didn't hear what the wolf had actually said, or that the wolf was lying to him. "What do you mean?"

The wolf held Pip in his gaze. "I was trying to kill you."

Pip's heart seemed to drop into his stomach, but he was still confused.

"Why were you trying to kill me?"

The wolf walked around Pip back onto his boulder. "I wanted to catch the weakest member of the herd. Young, sick, or old like that goat that I took to eat."

"Wh…why?"

The wolf lay down, uninterested in Pip, as far as he could tell. "Weaker animals are easier to catch. No wolf wants to go after something that could impale it or trample it."

Pip couldn't move. He was realizing just what had happened to him, just how close he had come to being killed like his mother. When he wouldn't move, the wolf continued to talk to him. "It's just nature, kid. It's not pretty, but that's how life works. Weak animals die. Strong animals live and persist. It keeps everything healthy and stable."

"That's…that's a horrible thing to say…" Pip stammered out, shocked that even a wolf could think of something so horrible.

"That's my reality." The wolf shrugged. "I'm designed to kill and eat meat."

"So you are a monster!" Pip shouted.

Annoyed, the wolf sighed again. "It's my job kid, what I'm meant to do. When they're no wolves or bears to kill deer, they eat too many of the trees and leaves, and everything suffers. I know it's true. I've seen it happen. I'm not saying that I'm a nice part of the world, but my role is important."

Pip wanted to back away, but he could not forget why he had come in the first place. This wolf had killed his mother, no matter the reason.

"I'll…I'll be back!" Pip bleated, the wolf not responding. "I'll be back, and I'll get you! I'll make sure you never hurt another goat again!" Angry, Pip shouted out one last time; "You'll be sorry you killed my mother!"  
The wolf rolled his eyes at Pip. "Kid, what do you think you're going to do? Kill me?"

Pip tightened his lip. "I will." He said with determination.

The wolf grunted and sat up. "Kid, look at my face." Pip did, suspicious of what the wolf would be planning. "You see these gray hairs?" Pip did. The wolf's muzzle was covered with gray fur. "They mean the same thing on me as they do on anything else. I'm old. By the time you got big enough to actually hurt me, I'd probably be dead." The wolf lay down again, hoping that he could go to sleep. "Don't waste your time on something so foolish. Go home and be with others of your kind."

Pip couldn't think of anything else to do. He had attacked the wolf, and that had lead to nothing. He had shouted at it, and that had lead to nothing. But he wasn't satisfied. He knew that it was pointless, but he kept on shouting at the wolf and threatening it. Eventually, the wolf became too fed up with Pip and chased him away, snarling.

As Pip walked back through the woods, knowing where to go by walking away from the big mountain that lay behind the dark forest, he continued to feel a mesh of emotions. He was afraid, even though he had by this point left the wolf far behind.

"I can't believe I was so stupid. I could have been killed!"

Pip kept on looking out into the dark shadows that surrounded him, expecting to see the wolf, but he neither saw, heard, or felt any presence of the wolf. Along with his fear, Pip still felt anger. Nothing had been accomplished. He was still alone, and his mother was still dead. He began to realize that in a way, the wolf was right, though. Even if he had killed the wolf, he would have still been alone, with an uncaring herd to come home to. The only reason that Pip was going back there was because he had nowhere else to go.

Pip kicked at a pebble. He thought about what the wolf had said to him. Pip wanted to think that he couldn't trust what the wolf had said, but it didn't seem like anything the wolf had said to him was untruthful. If anything, it seemed bluntly honest. Pip was confused about his notions of the wolf. He had been told all his life that the wolf was a monster who only wanted to eat goats, and in a way, what the wolf had said to him proved that, but it seemed like there was more to understand about the wolf than simply that. The wolf _was_ monstrous in its own way, but seeing him seemed to strip away much of the mystery that Pip and all the other goats had always connected to the wolf. He had his own fears just like any other animal, and aged like any other animal. He didn't just kill randomly and without purpose; he had a reason and a method that he followed. Pip thought that it was a horrible, revolting reason, but it was perfectly logical. Pip had noticed that the dogs at the barn didn't eat grass like the goats. He had once went up and smelled some of the food that a dog was eating, but it smelled revolting. When he had gotten too close, the dog had snarled at him, just like the wolf did. Also, Pip realized that the wolf didn't just kill everything that came close to him. Pip, himself, was walking away unscathed. The wolf had let a perfectly fine goat, a meal that would have fed him for the day, walk away without barely touching it. This fact bothered Pip most of all. It wasn't as if the wolf would have had any problem with catching Pip, he had tried to kill him before. Pip realized that he was, as the wolf pointed out, a relatively weak animal that the wolf could have easily killed. A goat had walked right up to him and he had let it get away.

Angry, confused, and tired, as Pip finally made it out of the woods and back into the fenced pasture as the sun began to set, Pip was stuck with thinking of the wolf just as he had started out. He still saw the wolf as a monster that had murdered his mother. The wolf had given his reasons for killing Pip's mother, but Pip was not satisfied with them. As Pip lay down with the other goats as the herd came into the barn, he decided that the wolf had only let Pip go for the simple reason of being too tired or too full to bother himself with him, just like all of the other goats in the herd.

The next day, it rained. Most of the goats stayed in the barn, but Pip was too hungry from his adventure into the woods to not eat something. A few of the other goats were out there too, grazing on a few scant patches of clover along the rim of the fence that the herd had ignored. The rain reminded Pip of the fog on the day of this mother's death. While it didn't completely blind him, the rain still made it hard to see or hear things going on around him. When Pip realized this, he stood up from his meal, suddenly worried. But he soon decided to ignore the rain. After that foggy day, the humans had gone around fixing the old boards in the fence, so there were no easy parts for the wolf to get through.

Once he started thinking about his mother though, Pip couldn't stop. He was still sad, but he felt more confused about why things had happened the way that they did. On the day that Pip had gone to confront the wolf, he had given Pip the best, if only, answers out of anyone as to why the wolf had killed his mother, but there was still something that bothered Pip, he just couldn't put his foot on it. Something just didn't seem to make sense. Pip kept on going over the events of his mother's death in his mind, unable to let it rest. It had been a foggy day, which had made it easy for the wolf to sneak in under the damaged fence without alerting any of the humans or dogs. Pip had wandered away from his mother and the bulk of the herd, which had made it easier for the wolf to pick him out. Pip was a young, weak goat that had gone outside the safety of the herd and was unable to see the wolf sneak up on him. But he had lived because his mother had seen the wolf in time to save him. Pip and the wolf had stood over her body for at least 10 whole seconds, until the wolf caught another goat and had carried it into the forest.

That was it, Pip realized. What he couldn't understand. The wolf had singled Pip out from the herd, and tried to kill him. His mother had been killed instead. But why did the wolf not take Pip's mother's body? Why did he wait that 10 seconds with Pip? And furthermore, Pip began to question, why had the wolf, who had been so intent on getting Pip as an easy meal, not attack Pip during those 10 seconds when Pip was still within grabbing distance? He had even stared at Pip for a bit, before Pip had even realized it. The wolf could have easily grabbed Pip while Pip was staring at his mother's body, but he didn't. This went against almost everything the other goats had said about what the wolf did & was like, and what the wolf had said about why he killed goats. It didn't make sense to Pip.

Pip's feelings of unease wouldn't go away either. He kept remembering the similarities between this rainy day and the foggy day. His instincts were telling him to go back, to hide, but he couldn't understand why. He couldn't see how the wolf could get him here. Pip was trying to calm himself down, when he heard a splashing sound in the mud behind him.

Pip turned, just as shadowy figure leapt past him, making him jump a foot in the air away and landing on his side in the mud. Some of the other goats bleated out alarms, but not before the wolf had killed another goat. With blood pumping in his ears, Pip struggled to get back to his feet, wanting to fight the wolf for daring to come back, but the wolf barreled past him, carrying the dead goat. Pip chased the wolf as he slipped underneath a hole that the wolf had dug in the muddy soil underneath the fence, but stopped at the fence, his instincts and the human's training forcing him to go no further while the wolf was still in sight. The wolf shrank into the distance and slipped into the dark forest, merging as a shadow with it.

The humans and dogs shouted Pip away from the fence, leaving him shocked with what the wolf had just done, but still confused about what he had done on the day he killed his mother. Pip became even more confused when he realized that this time, just as before, the wolf had not killed him just as he could have before. He knew that the wolf had seen him; he had run right past him, but he had ignored Pip again. What was the wolf's game in this? How could he do such horrible things to the other goats, but choose to leave Pip alone? Pip stared out into the dark forest even when the humans sealed him in with the rest of the herd in the barn. He knew that he wouldn't be able to rest until he had these questions answered. He was going to go back into the forest again.

Pip had to wait a few days before he could get outside the fence, as the humans kept the goats inside the barn for a time in fear of the wolf returning, and even afterwards kept a close eye on the herd, preventing Pip from leaving. When Pip was able to leave, the ground had dried up from the rain. The air was still cold, but not so cold that it was an effort just to be outside. Pip crawled underneath the fence and made his way into the dark forest. Eventually, Pip found the wolf drinking from a brook, his tongue rasping out in exhaustion. As Pip approached the wolf, he began to grow wary. Just because the wolf had chosen not to kill Pip so far didn't mean that he wouldn't. He had already killed 3 goats that Pip had known. His anger at the wolf for killing his mother was still present as well, and he struggled to not charge at the wolf when he saw him. He was angry, but remembered this time that he was still a tiny goat, and had been easily batted around by the wolf the last time that they met.

Pip thought that the wolf knew that he was their when he arrived, but tried to ignore him again as he drank. Once he finished though, he apparently decided that Pip wasn't going to go away, as he lay down on the bank, looking over at Pip.

"So you came back."

Pip nodded.

"Are you here to kill me?"

"N..no."

"Then what do you want?"

Pip mustered up his courage. "I…wanted to ask you something."

The wolf looked as if he was about to go to sleep again. "Yeah? What?"

Pip took a few steps closer, trying to get the wolf's attention, though the wolf's eyelids were almost shut. "When you killed my mother, why didn't you kill me too?"

The wolf's eyelids sprang open, as if he was surprised to be asked a question like that. He looked at Pip, startled, but eventually grunted. "What's your name, kid?"

Hesitating, Pip responded. "My name is Pip."

The wolf crossed his front legs over each other. "Well Pip, as much as it may come as a surprise to a goat like you, I _do_ have a sense of honor and dignity."

Pip took a few steps closer. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that even a 'monster' like me can recognize a sacrifice like what your mother did. I respect your mother for putting herself between you and me at the cost of her own life, and out of that respect, I have chosen not to kill you." The wolf got back up onto his feet. "Are you satisfied now that you know that you don't have to be afraid of me?" The wolf started to walk away, but Pip ran after him.

"But that doesn't make any sense!" Pip bleated. "You told me yourself that you go after the weakest members of the herd so you can feed yourself. Why is what my mother did such a big deal to you?"

The wolf eyed Pip behind his shoulder. "Is it not a big deal to you?"

Shocked, Pip fell silent. The wolf turned to him.

"I did have a mother once, you know. I loved her. As I got older, I had my own pups. I don't suppose that I can take this stance with every animal that I eat, but I can recognize things like devotion and love."

"But…but…this goes against everything you told me about yourself!" Pip said. "You said that…that it was your _design_ to kill goats like me! You said…that it was nature! But here you are, choosing not to eat me when you get the chance!" Pip shouted himself hoarse, releasing all of the angst and confusion he had felt in the world in this one spurt against the animal that killed his mother.

The wolf waited patiently for Pip to finish. Once Pip was done, he seemed to be deep in thought, trying to figure out the answer himself, trying to figure out why he had gone against the world.

"Here's the way that I see it, Pip." The wolf spoke philosophically. "Yes, it is in my nature to kill. It's in the nature of all animals to do whatever they have to do to survive, whether they are the ones eating or being eaten. I have told you that it's not pretty. You've seen a brief example of what life is truly like outside the confines of your fence."

Pip didn't know how to respond to this, so he stayed quiet.

"However," the wolf continued, "there are times in which animals are able to resist their basic instincts for something else, to deny their own survival to help another. It is a humbling thing to see, say, a starving mother wolf to bring a rabbit for her hungry pups to eat, or for a mother goat to throw herself in harm's way to protect her kid." The wolf sat down, looking out over the bank in thought. "This world is hard, Pip. I don't think that you or any of the other goats back at your farm, or any of the dogs and humans back there for that matter, really understand how hard it is. Life is a struggle. Most often, only those who think of themselves, only themselves and their own survival are able to etch out a living. But...when someone is willing to be selfless for the sake of someone else, to deny themselves…I can't help but to admire and respect that." The wolf looked back to Pip. "To me, your survival as a result of your mother's sacrifice is a testament to a denial of an unpleasant, hard world. I don't want to give that up. That's why I did not kill you the day that I killed your mother, and why I'm not going to kill you now." The wolf looked down into the sand and chuckled to himself. "Don't get me wrong, Pip. I want to live. That's why I hunt and kill goats. It's the best way that I can think of to live. But what your mother did…it feels as if it reaches something that's bigger than my life." The wolf shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe I'm just an old wolf who's seen too much of the world, but that's just the way I feel."

Pip was touched. He could not bring himself to forgive the wolf for his mother's death, but Pip felt what the wolf said affect him in a way that the goat's constant affirmations in the safety of their barn and their refusal to acknowledge Pip's sadness did not. There was still sadness in his heart, he was still angry at the wolf, and he still couldn't understand how something so horrible could have happened in a life that was once so carefree and happy, but for the first time since his mother died, he was able to have a sense of satisfaction, to be grateful that he was alive. It felt as if the weight that he bore was a bit lighter.

"…Thank you." Pip said reluctantly.

"You're welcome." The wolf replied, grunting. "So, little goat, what are you going to do now? Do you still want to kill me?"

Though Pip was impressed by the wisdom of the wolf, he found that there was still anger in his heart. He couldn't bring himself to forgive the wolf for what he had done to him, but he didn't know what to do, and even if he did, he wasn't certain if he could go through with it.

"I don't know."

"That's alright." The wolf turned away from Pip. "I can't blame you for being angry at me. My mother was killed by a hunter while she was trying to get food for me, so I can understand how you're feeling." The wolf began to walk away. "Tell you what. If I can survive to spring, maybe then you'll be old enough to get me back. It won't help you feel any better, but if it's what you want…"

The wolf was almost too far away from him before Pip called after him. There was one other thing that he wanted to know after his conversation with the wolf.

"Wait!"

The wolf stopped and looked back at Pip. "Yeah?"

"I told you mine, but what's your name?"

"Logue!" The wolf called back.

"Logue?"

"Logue." The wolf turned around and continued to walk away, disappearing on the other side of the bank.

Pip stayed where he was, trying to think about what he had just heard, what he had just done, and what he thought he might do in the future because of it. He went back to the barn, again arriving before the sun had set. Once night had fallen, Pip went into the barn with the rest of the herd. He felt more satisfied than when he had first set out on his own, but he realized that he only faced another night without his mother sleeping by his side to warm him, and there was much that he was still thinking about.

Pip and the herd woke up the next day. When they got out to the pasture, Pip tried to get himself to play with the other kids. For a while, he was able to lose himself, prancing and headbutting with them, though when they got to close to the fence, their mothers brought them back away, all except for Pip. Looking at the kids and their mothers, Pip felt like an outsider. He tried to be with the mothers of the other goats, but they only looked on him as they would any other goat. Eventually, Pip moved on through the herd. As he tried to talk with the other goats, he realized that the goats barely even paid attention to each other. It was depressing, reminding him of his mother, but it also depressing to Pip for him to see how uncaring the goats seemed to each other. They did speak to each other, but it seemed as if they didn't matter to each other, simply speaking to each other in passing.

"Good day."

"Lovely weather we're having."

"There was some good clover over there."

It didn't seem to Pip that the goats spoke of anything but their own comfort. None of them seemed to think of anything beyond what was on the pasture. Something else that bothered him was the fact that none of the goats said anything about the goat that the wolf had killed on the rainy day, which was only a few days ago. He tried asking some of the other goats about it, thinking that there might have been family of the goat that could use someone to talk to, as he could have used someone earlier, but hardly anyone seemed to remember the goat, or to want to talk about the goat.

"What goat? There are plenty of goats around here."

"Wasn't she an old goat already?"

"Don't bother me, I'm eating."

"No need to worry about that now. The humans made the fence stronger."

"Why would you want to bring up something so morbid?"

Oddly enough, their responses seemed to be the same as those that he got the days after his mother's death. Pip found it difficult to spend time with the other goats again. Throughout the herd, no one even seemed to remember the old goat that had been killed by the wolf on the rainy day. No one seemed to remember Pip's mother either, unless he reminded them of her, and still, no one wanted to talk about it. Pip spent the whole day like this.

The next day, Pip knew that he wouldn't be able to repeat the process, but he didn't know what to do with himself. He wasn't satisfied with just eating as he always had. It felt to him that there was more to life than just this, eating clover. Not knowing what to do, but knowing that he would become stir-crazy if he stayed in the pasture, Pip slipped underneath the fence again. He wasn't certain if he believed everything about what Logue said, but he believed that he wouldn't attack Pip, so there was no reason for him to fear leaving the fence now.

There wasn't much of a purpose for Pip's walk into the forest. He was mostly just bored, and he found that once you got past the shadows, there was much to look at and interact with in the forest. There were plants that he had never seen in the pasture; some tasted better than anything in the farm, some were so revolting he could barely keep them down. There were animals that he had never seen in the barn, birds whose songs that he hadn't heard before. But as he walked, he realized that Logue wasn't the only thing to be afraid of. True, Logue was the biggest hunter in the forest, but there were plenty of creatures that could eat an animal Pip's size. Once, he saw a hawk carry away a rabbit that was almost as big as him. Several times, he had to chase away a fox that had gotten too close to him.

Even though it was dangerous, Pip found that exploring through the forest was more comforting than wandering around with an uncaring herd, though he realized that even if they were uncaring, he missed the company. Satisfied with his journey, Pip began to work his way back through the woods.

"Pip?"

Pip stopped, seeing that he had walked into the enclosure where he had first met Logue, who was sitting on his boulder again.

"What are you doing out here again?"

"Oh, I was just walking." Pip began to walk away.

"In the woods?"

Pip turned around. "Yes."

"Why?" Logue got off his rock. "Why would you want to come in here again if you weren't looking for me?" Logue eyed Pip. "You weren't looking for me again, were you?"

"Oh, no. I just…I just wanted to get out of the pasture."

"Why?" Logue asked again. "Is something wrong down there?"

Pip shook his head. "No. Everything's the same, just as it always is." But Pip sighed. "But that's sort of the problem."

"What do you mean?" Logue sat in front of Pip.

Pip hesitated. He wasn't sure if he wanted to talk to Logue about how he had been feeling towards the other goats, thinking that he might gloat about their apathy. On the other hand, Pip was able to think more and get better answers from Logue than he did with any of the other goats.

"Do you remember that goat that you killed a few days ago when it was raining?"

Logue groaned. "For crying out loud, did I kill your Dad this time or something?"

"No." Pip replied. "I didn't actually know that goat too well."

"Well what about it?" Logue asked. "I had to eat again."

"I know, I know." Pip replied, not wanting to get into another disturbing argument with Logue about his need to eat meat. "It's just that hardly anyone at the herd seemed to notice."

"Huh?" Logue grunted.

Pip sighed. He wasn't sure if he would be willing to talk to Logue any further after this if he began to snicker about the herd's reaction to the goat's death. "I mean that no one seemed to remember that goat, and the ones that did remember it, didn't seem to care." Pip said this very fast, wanting to get it all out at once. "Everyone just wanted to keep eating the grass. No one seemed to care that one of our own was murdered."

Logue didn't respond at this, only allowing Pip to continue.

Pip looked down at the ground, dejectedly. "It was just like that when my mother died. No one seemed to care." Pip looked back up at Logue, expecting him to laugh, but he was only nodding grimly.

"Ah…I see."

Pip was confused. Apparently, Logue understood the herd's reaction more than Pip did. "What do you mean?" Pip asked. "Why do you act like you understand why they don't care?"

Logue got back up on his feet. "I need a drink. Walk with me Pip." He started to walk towards the brook that he had talked to Pip at earlier, with Pip following. Pip noticed that Logue was limping slightly, though that might have just have been from sleeping on his feet weirdly.

As the two walked, Logue talked to Pip. "You know that I'm an old wolf Pip, so I've had a lot of time to see things and think them over. It's how I've come to my conclusions for why I am what I am."

Pip didn't answer, walking determinately forward. He didn't want to think about what Logue had said during their first conversation.

Logue and Pip arrived at the brook's edge. "You see, I've noticed something about how animals act depending on their circumstances. These things that I've noticed aren't exactly universal, but they're close."

"What does that mean, universal?" Pip asked.

"It means 'applying to everyone.'" Logue answered. The wolf bent over and began to drink. Pip had to stand next to him for a few minutes before he would talk again. When he did, Logue smacked his jowls from the water. "What I've noticed is that a lot of times, when an animal stops having to struggle for something, they stop appreciating it. The more that they have of something, the less value it is to them. I've noticed it a lot in the humans."

Confused, Pip asked again, "What do you mean? What does this have to do with my herd?"

Logue sighed and looked down at Pip. "Your herd, and a lot of animals that get protected by humans, have all of your food and shelter provided to you. You have a big mass of land filled with good grass that you can grow fat on. You have a barn that you can hide in when it's too cold or too dark. You have humans armed with fire and guns and dogs that protect you from predators like me." He shrugged. "Well, for the most part they do."

Pip realized that Logue was right. From his walk in the forest, he had seen that it was a lot harder for animals to get food or to even get somewhere dry.

"I think that with all of this food, shelter, and protection provided to your herd, the goats can lose their appreciation of what these things mean. They don't appreciate that the grass that they have is their life. With an excess like that, they only want more. As a result, I believe that the goats grew fat and complacent."

Pip thought of something. "Are you saying that all animals in barns are selfish, and all animals in the wild aren't?" he asked accusingly.

Logue laughed so hard that he began to cough. Taking a breath, he continued. "No…no…I can assure you from personal experience that that's not always true. Your mother is proof of that. And there've been a lot of times where a desperate wolf will steal food from his pack." Logue took another drink. "I think that the difference is that in the wild, where things aren't as easy, you have to rely on your pack or your herd more. It makes you care for each other, makes you see the value in each other. Out here, where we have to fight to live, it hits you more when the one that you've fought to live with dies."

Pip looked at his reflection in the brook. "I guess that kind of makes sense. But…" Pip thought of something else. "…But…I don't know…I mean, I still care about my herd, and my Mom cared about me." Pip looked back where the barn was through the woods. "Do you think that the other kid's mothers would do the same for them if they were in the same situation?"

Logue shrugged. "Maybe. I've seen both circumstances. I've seen some mothers of goats and others run away and leave their children behind when danger approached. I just think that it might be harder for animals that have it good to be willing to give it up for someone else. I also think that it was a little different for your herd a few years ago, back when I had my pack with me. You all had to be more careful of wolves like us coming and trying to pick off a goat. But when the forest started to get cut down, most of the wolves and bears got chased away." He smiled a little. "Don't get me wrong, Pip. I don't think that your herd's sense of empathy is dependent on whether or not wolves are hunting them. I just think that being put through hard circumstances pulls us together."

Pip looked at Logue for a long time. Logue was comparing his family with Pip's, but he had never seen them. As far as he had ever known, Logue was the only wolf that ever hunted the goats; he had never been told of any other wolves by any of the other goats. "You said that you used to have a pack, but that they're gone now. Why didn't you go with them?"

Logue frowned. Pip realized that he had mentioned something that made him uncomfortable. The wolf looked at his reflection, as if realizing that he was as alone as Pip.

"I couldn't. I was too old, and I couldn't have made the journey over the mountains." He lay down in front of the bank. "I think I can still remember the day when my pack made the decision to move out. There simply wasn't enough food for us, and if we all tried to feed off of the goats and cows that the humans brought with them, the humans would have been driven to kill us all…My son…my son was the one who led them away."

Pip tried to think about what that would have been like for him. The only family he could think of was his mother, so he imagined what it would have been like if she had decided, one day, to take the herd away, leaving him behind. It was too horrible to think of.

"I'm sorry." Pip said, meaning it.

Logue smiled sadly. "Don't be. We both knew that it had to be done. I should be thankful that he just took the pack like he did."

"Why would you be thankful for something like that!?"

"When leadership gets transferred from one wolf to another, it can be a lot more violent. I've seen wolves get hurt, or even killed for the Alpha role. With my son, we both knew what had to be done, and so he and the rest of the pack just ran off."

"But they left you behind."

Logue nodded. "Yes, but it wasn't so bad. I've had enough experience at that point to know how to take care of myself, and there was enough food in the forest after that for just one wolf."

"Do you still miss them?" Pip asked.

"…Yeah. I do. I miss them a lot." Logue sighed, his eyes closing slightly. "Wolves aren't meant to be alone. We're meant to be part of a pack. It's our family, just like a goat's herd is their family…" Logue stared at his reflection in the water. "I hope that my family's doing alright."

Pip sat down, looking out over the brook. He felt that he should say something to Logue, but the wolf had only highlighted what he had done to Pip; taking away his mother and leaving him alone in the world. Logue wasn't looking at Pip, but he seemed to know what Pip was thinking.

"Pip, I can't hope to compare what happened to me with what I did to you, but I do know what it's like to be by yourself. Like me, you're an animal that's supposed to have others to rely on…I'm sorry that it's hard for you to feel like your herd cares about you, and I'm sorry that it's because of me that your mother is dead."

Pip faced Logue. He tried to open his mouth, but the words wouldn't come out. He just couldn't bring himself to forgive the wolf, even if he was sorry. Pip was still alone no matter how sorry Logue was, and Logue was still hunting members of his herd.

He turned away from the brook, heading back to the barn and leaving Logue alone. But before he could leave, there was one more thing he wanted. He turned back and stood next to the wolf.

"Logue, I know that you have to hunt, but do you think…is there any way you can leave my herd alone?"

Logue continued to look at his reflection, thinking. He tilted his head to Pip. "You know that I only hunt there when I have to."

"But there's still a lot of kids in that herd who wouldn't want to lose their mothers, and their mothers wouldn't want to lose their kids." Pip stepped closer, trying to get Logue to face him. "I don't want anyone else to be left alone like you or me."

Logue didn't move. Pip knew him well enough to know that he was thinking very hard.

"Alright." Logue looked at Pip. "It's almost spring anyway. I've seen enough rabbits and ducks to tide me over until the deer come back. I'll do my best to stay away from your herd."

"Thanks." Pip walked away.

Though the rest of the herd didn't seem to notice, Logue kept his promise to Pip as spring arrived. Soon, the entire mountainside was in bloom, and the goats enjoyed the new shoots that had begun to sprout. Pip and the other kids started to grow out their horns, and he was able to enjoy trying them out by head butting the other kids more exuberantly.

Pip also continued his walks into the forest. It was an exciting experience for him to see the leaves growing back and the new animals that had started to arrive. Most of the animals that he met avoided him, though he eventually realized that he startled them with the smell of humans that he carried around with him.

Every now and then, Pip would come across Logue, and the two would continue to talk. Despite Pip's repugnance at Logue's nature, he was always interested in the wisdom that he had to impart. As the plants bloomed, Pip found that Logue knew as much about them as most of the deer of the forest did; which ones were good to eat and which ones could help with ailments or injuries. Logue pointed out the animals that were best at finding water, the ones that were best at hiding, and the ones best left alone. The more time that Pip spent with Logue, the more his instincts surfaced, and the easier he found it was to learn. However, even though Pip found his herd apathetic, he would always find his way back to the barn again. Like Logue said, Pip's herd was still his family.

The more time that Pip spent away from humans, the more he realized how much the other animals feared them. Many of them saw humans the same way that Pip's herd saw Logue. One day Pip asked the wolf about them.

"Hm." Logue thought to himself. The two were on a woody hill and had just reached the top, where they could see the goat herd in the distance. Pip saw the town that the barn was connected to and the various other farms in the valley. "Humans are difficult to understand, Pip."

"Why is that?" Pip had never bothered to understand the humans who had taken care of him. They had always seemed just as caretakers and protectors to him. He could understand why _Logue_ wouldn't like them, but he couldn't understand why the other animals feared them.

"Well," Logue said, sitting down to get comfortable, "Many of the humans are hunters like me, Pip. They will sometimes go out into the forest and hunt deer, rabbits, and turkeys just like I do."

"What?" Pip found that hard to believe. The humans had never shown any indication of wanting to eat any of his herd. If anything, they seemed kind. Every now and then, they might shout at the herd, but as long as the goats obeyed, there was never anything beyond shouting. "I didn't know that they ever killed anything other than wolves."

"Oh yes." Logue nodded. "Humans are hunters, and they're good ones at that. By themselves, they actually aren't very strong or agile, I've seen enough of them to know that. But you've seen the kinds of things that they can do, Pip. You've seen their guns, their trucks, their buildings."

Pip looked to where his barn was. He knew what Logue was talking about. Though it had never been aimed at him, he saw some kind of unearthly, frightening power in the wooden tubes that the humans used. Even wolves ran when humans wielded them. And their trucks. To Pip, they seemed like giant, raging rams that barreled down anything in their way.

"Humans have a power to take almost anything and mold it to their whim. Their buildings are larger and grander than the biggest beaver damn. Their trucks move faster than any deer. Their guns kill more efficiently than any wolf pack ever could. You can understand how we, not having lived under the humans like yourself, could fear them." Logue looked out to the barn with Pip. "But somehow, even that, even that doesn't seem to express it. There's just something about humans, something that makes us fear them. Something ancient…beyond ancient…something that sinks into our instincts and makes us forget that they are by themselves weak, slow animals. Only the greatest desperation would ever make us ever want to approach them." Logue smiled faintly. "I think in the past, some of my kind came to fear and admire humans in that way, and made us want to join them, to be a part of their 'pack.'"

"What do you mean by that, Logue?"

Logue gestured to the barn. "You know those dogs that the humans use to protect you goats?"

"Yeah." Pip replied.

"They used to be wolves."

"What!?" Pip exclaimed. Those dogs had lived with the herd for as long as Pip could remember. They had always been there, keeping them from harm, guiding them through the field…And yet…Pip couldn't ignore the similarities between Logue and the dogs that he was talking about. Pip remembered many times where the dogs would snarl at each other and the herd, and he felt a faint prickle of fear, akin to the sound of Logue's howl. It was an effective way to get his herd to move. "How do you know?" he asked.

Logue smirked. "Trust me, I know. We have the same bodies, and a very similar mindset. I've heard of wolves and dogs having pups together, when a dog's gone out into the forest. If two animals can have children, they're the same animal." He looked back in the direction of the barn. "I think that some time in the past, some wolves managed to befriend humans, wanting to share their food. Ever since then, we don't usually see them apart."

Pip shuddered. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to look at those dogs the same way again."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about them, Pip." Logue assured him.

"What makes you so confident that they wouldn't hurt me?"

Logue smiled. "Humans wouldn't have let wolves into their midst if there wasn't something that we could offer in return. I can understand if you are prejudiced against us," (Pip shuffled his hooves uncomfortably) "but one of my kind's greatest attributes is loyalty. We may fight amongst each other, but our pack is our family. We do what our Alpha tells us to, and we care for each other. I believe that the humans used that part of us to their advantage, establishing themselves as the dog's Alpha, ensuring their loyalty."

Pip frowned. "I still don't think that makes me very comfortable."

Logue laughed. Pip looked at him, startled and confused.

"Trust me Pip, you should be grateful that those dogs are protecting you. I can't tell you the number of times I stayed away from your herd because they were out there." Logue smiled at Pip's shocked look. "I assure you, those dogs would have died before letting me get to your herd if they were outside the times that I was hunting."

A few days later, Pip went out on his usual walk through the woods. He was hoping that he would see Logue, but he couldn't find him anywhere. Instead, he just enjoyed the scenery as usual. All of the plants in the forest had at this point fully bloomed, and the forest was covered in a deluge of new scents. The animals had all come back, either from their migratory travels or from waking up from hibernation. Pip reminded himself to ask Logue about hibernation. He liked the idea of going to sleep for winter, staying warm and safe in some den somewhere. It was only midday, but eventually Pip got tired of walking around, still not seeing Logue anywhere, and decided to go back to the barn to eat and rest, maybe butt heads with some of the other kids.

But as Pip made his way back to the barn, he felt that something was wrong. It was too quiet. He couldn't hear any of the goats bleating. As he got out of the forest, he saw that none of the goats were out in the pasture.

"Why would the humans keep the goats in on such a beautiful day?" Pip thought to himself.

Pip crawled under the fence, hitting his horns on the wooden beams. He realized that he would soon be too big to fit underneath the fence and would have to start thinking of some other way to get out.

It was still too quiet. Even when they were in the barn, the herd would usually make _some_ noise. The quiet was frightening to Pip, even more so than the silence of the day that his mother died. Something was wrong. He realized that he didn't want any of the humans or dogs to find him, a sensation that he had never felt before. The humans had always meant safety to Pip, but something didn't seem right here.

Pip heard a noise. For some reason, he decided to hide behind some hay bales that were up against the barn. Peaking out, he saw a human leave the barn, wiping off something on his hands. Pip's stomach dropped as he saw that it was blood. Pip hardly allowed himself to breath as the human walked into the house.

Everything in him was telling him to not go in, that there had to be some kind of explanation for the blood, or whatever it was on the human's hands. It couldn't be the slowly growing horrible thought that Pip was thinking. Even if it was true, he shouldn't look inside. But Pip couldn't _not_ look. He had to know. Slowly, Pip peeked around the corner into the barn.

The bodies of Pip's entire herd were hanging on hooks installed in the barn. He could hear the sound of flies buzzing around them. There was nothing that Pip had ever seen that was as horrifying as what he saw in that moment, not even the death of his mother could compare. In one stroke, almost everyone that Pip had ever known had been killed. Pip couldn't breathe. This had to be some nightmare. There was no way that reality could be this horrific.

One of the humans was hanging the last of the goats when he saw Pip. Pip saw the man too, and it may very well have been that if the man wasn't there, Pip would have remained transfixed at this nightmare image. When Pip saw him, the man shouted something that Pip couldn't understand and started to walk towards him, reaching to him. Snapping out of his daze, Pip ran for his life, hurtling himself underneath the fence and into the forest. He could hear the sound of the human shouting and chasing after him.

Eventually, Pip realized that he couldn't hear the human anymore, and that he had run into one of the deeper parts of the forest. Legs trembling, Pip leaned up against a tree and groaned out as if in pain. He had run so hard his mouth was dry, but he had never felt so cold, and he couldn't stop shaking.

"Pip?"

Pip snapped his head up, thinking that one of the humans had somehow followed him, but all he saw was Logue, laying down on the same boulder at which he and Pip had first met.

"Pip, what's wrong?"

Pip didn't realize how frightening he looked. The whites of his eyes were showing, and every hair was on end. He still hadn't stopped trembling and he didn't try to stop.

"M…m…my…m…my…"

"Pip, spit it out." Logue said, disturbed by Pip's demeanor.

"My…my…my herd…"

"Your herd?" Logue repeated. "What about your herd? Did something happen to your herd?"

Pip wanted to nod his head, but he couldn't get the muscles in his neck to loosen up enough to.

"My herd…humans…the humans…th…th…they…"

Logue stared at Pip, frightened and trying to figure it out. Still with his frightened expression, Logue spoke. "Did the humans do something to your herd?"

"The…they…they…" Pip couldn't spit it out. He couldn't put what he had seen into words. Logue's eyes narrowed in understanding.

"It's slaughtering day, isn't it?"

Pip nodded, and then broke down crying. He didn't completely understand what Logue meant by "slaughtering day", but he apparently understood what had happened. He cried for some time before he realized that there was something that didn't make sense to him. Pip stopped and looked at Logue apprehensively.

"Logue…how do you know what happened?"

Logue looked at the ground in sadness. "Humans…they sometimes do this to their herds depending on the season."

Whatever Logue could have said, Pip didn't think that there was a more horrible thing. Humans…his humans…

"Are you saying…that they were planning on doing this?"

Logue forced himself to look at Pip in the eyes.

"I think so. I wouldn't have thought that they would have done it all at once, but…"

"All at once?" Pip suddenly interjected. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, I…"

"Logue," Pip said, his voice trembling, "Why did the humans do this? Do they…do humans do this normally?"

Logue sighed. "Yes."

"But…why? Why would they raise us, take care of us, protect us…only to kill us?"

"…They were raising you as livestock, so they could take your meat when you got big enough."

Logue couldn't have spoken in a quieter voice, but the force of what he said was greater than a truck hitting Pip. He was staggered. He couldn't breathe.

"They were going to kill me…like they did with everyone else…they killed my entire herd…everyone that I've ever known."

Logue watched Pip mournfully.

"I'm sorry Pip. I…didn't think to tell you. I don't know why."

Pip could barely hear Logue, though his voice was the only thing around him. He walked away into the bushes to conceal himself from Logue. He needed to be alone.

The humans were nothing like what Pip had been raised to believe. They were like wolves, no…worse than wolves. Pip didn't want what they did to make sense, but there was a cold efficiency to it that he couldn't ignore. He couldn't believe that he had never asked that question, 'Why do the humans take care of us? Why do they feed us, protect us, and shelter us? Why do they put so much effort into our well-being when we give nothing back?' Now Pip knew what they were giving back. His whole life, and the life of all goats in captivity, the only reason that they had it was so they could die at the human's convenience.

The world never seemed so horribly clear to Pip, so horribly laid out and made bare. It was like he had flipped over a mossy rock to reveal a mass of worms.

Pip couldn't take it. Blankly, he walked back to Logue. The wolf looked at Pip in concern, as if wondering if he should get up or not. Pip spoke to him.

"Kill me, Logue."

"What?" The old wolf barked out.

"Eat me. I don't want to be in the world anymore."

"Pip, don't say things like that!" Logue tried to crawl off the rock, but couldn't. "I can't do that! I told you, your mother…"

"Forget about my mother!" Pip shouted, silencing Logue. He looked bitterly at the ground. "Whether I get eaten by wolves or by humans, I'm going to die. That's apparently all I'm meant for."

"Pip…" Logue pleaded, but Pip would not respond, and he would not move. "Pip, you don't understand…I can't…"

"Why not!?" Pip shouted at the wolf he had once feared so much. "You were so eager to eat me before, why not have a meal when it walks up to you? Just…just do…"

"Pip, listen to me!" Logue suddenly shouted back, making Pip silent this time. "You just don't understand." Logue looked down at the ground, dejected. "Even if I wanted to eat you, I couldn't. Not now."

"Why not?" Pip asked again, angry.

"I can't eat anything anymore." Logue replied. "My stomach doesn't…it doesn't let me keep anything down…nothing that I've eaten in the past few days has given me any nourishment…I think that my body is failing."

Pip expression lost most of his anger, and his face softened a bit.

"…What?"

Logue forced himself to look at Pip in the eye.

"I'm dying Pip. I'm dying very soon. I think…I think that I only have a few hours left."

Pip stared at Logue. His eyes started to fill with water, but he wasn't aware of it at first. At that moment, he was able to forget his anger at Logue for killing his mother.

"No."

Logue looked at Pip in compassion.

"No!"

Pip threw himself on Logue, startling the old wolf and making him cringe back, until he realized that Pip had buried his face into his fur, sobbing uncontrollably.

"No! No! No! No!"

"Pip!?" Logue said, startled.

"That's not fair!" Pip shouted into Logue's fur. "It's not fair!"

"Pip!"

"I don't want…I don't want you to die!"

"But I thought that you hated me!" Logue stated, confused.

"I did!" Pip continued to cry. "I did, but…you're the only one left that I know! You're the only one who…who cares about me!" Pip broke down completely and continued to cry. Logue couldn't think of anything to say, only allowing Pip his time. Eventually, Pip's crying slowed enough for him to talk again. "Why, Logue? Why do you have to die? Why does everyone around me…"

"Pip," Logue put his paw on Pip's shoulder, "it has nothing to do with you. There's no way you could have know what was going to happen to your mother, your herd, or me."

"But why does anyone have to die at all?" Pip sniffled.

Logue shook his head in compassion. "I'm sorry Pip. There's nothing that I can do to stop this. I've told you, I'm an old wolf. I've known that this was coming for a long time." He sighed, as Pip found he often did. "None of us are meant to last very long. It's just how our bodies are made, I suppose."

Pip stood next to Logue for a while longer. It was true, he had hated Logue. Even after he had talked to him, he still could not bring himself to forgive the one who had killed his mother. But even in his animosity, Pip realized just how much he looked up to Logue. Logue, a wolf, Pip's natural enemy, had been there for him in a way that no one but Pip's own mother had been. Pip didn't realize just how much he valued Logue's wisdom and experience until this point, how much he appreciated Logue simply being there.

"Pip?" Logue said. Pip looked up at him. "Would you stay with me a little longer? There are some things that I think I should talk to you about."

Pip nodded. Logue took a breath and let it out, savoring the smells of the forest.

"I've always told you what I've known, either from inferring or my own experience, but now, I want to tell you about some things that I believe."

Pip stayed silent, not wanting to miss anything Logue could still say to him.

"You talk as if life has no point to it, that it's just some cruel joke."

As true as it seemed to Pip, he still stayed quiet.

"I've told you that life _is_ hard, and it can end badly." Logue looked around him at the forest. "But I don't think that it's pointless."

Pip looked up at Logue, eyes shimmering.

"I think that there's a reason that we're alive. I think that life is important, that it has value."

"How can you say that?" Pip asked. "Everyone that I know has died. Their lives turned out to nothing in the end."

Logue looked down at Pip. "I don't think so, Pip. I think that you care a lot about them. I think that you loved them, even when your herd didn't seem to care."

"What difference does that make?" Pip asked.

"Well I don't know." Logue answered. "I think that they had a point to you. I think that your mother was really important to you."

"But what difference does that make?" Pip asked again.

"Well, to you, at least, their lives mattered. But I think that their lives didn't just matter to you."

"What are you saying?"

Logue looked out to the mountains away from the barn.

"I think that there's a reason that we are willing to go through hardships to keep on living. I think that it's significant that a mother, or a herd, or a pack, can be willing to work so hard to take care of their family. I think that there's a reason that we don't just lie down and die when things get bad. I think that there's a reason that, even from birth, we work so hard for it, even when we're blind and deaf out of the womb. I think that if this means so much to us, then there should be a reason why. I think there's a reason that we're designed to be able to live for a little while and to pursue life. I think…even now that there's a reason that I was made the way I was, even if it's not pretty."

"But why should I want to live still? Pip asked dejectedly.

Logue didn't answer immediately. He had to think.

"Because your mother died so you could live." He answered.

Pip thought about his mother. He thought about how he loved her, and she loved him. He still missed her, even in the midst of this tragedy.

"I think that your mother's death should mean a lot to you, Pip…She reminds me of what my mother did for me, and what a few are willing to do for ones that they care about." Logue said. He smiled, even in the midst of his aches and pains. "You know, it's a strange thing. As odd as it sounds…as much of a paradox as it is…life…is worth dying for…If it is worth dying for…then it must have value…it must have purpose."

Logue stopped to watch Pip. Pip was thinking. As filled with despair as he was, he couldn't ignore what Logue said. He couldn't ignore how much he had meant to his mother. He thought about his life. There had been great pain in it, but…he realized that he was glad that, even if he were to die now, he still had the life that he had. There was still so much pain to deal with…but if what Logue said was right, and that his life wasn't pointless, even if he wasn't sure, he didn't want to give it up. He wanted to give it a chance.

After a few minutes, Logue spoke again.

"Do you still want to give up your life Pip?"

"I…I don't think so…I don't think that I could."

Logue smiled.

"That makes me very glad, Pip."

"But," Pip bleated, "but what do I do now? I have no home, and there's nowhere for me to go."

Logue looked back to the mountains, considering them in a different way. He sighed again.

"Pip, I think that I might know of something you could do…It wouldn't be easy, and I can't guarantee your safety, but it's the only thing that I can think of."

"What is it?" Pip asked.

Logue gestured towards the mountains with his nose. "When my pack left, they were heading to a meadow far away over those mountains. We had heard that there was a herd of wild goats there, in a place that humans hadn't reached yet." He looked back at Pip. "I think now that it's spring, you could get over those mountains without much trouble. If you were to go to that meadow, there wouldn't be any fences or humans to protect you from wolves, and there would be no barn for you to hide in. However, there would be no humans to contain you, and you'd have a herd with you. I think that they would help you, that they would want to help you."

Pip looked to the mountains. They had never looked so tall to him.

"Does that sound any good to you?"

Pip thought about it, about how long he would have to walk and climb, and about all of the wolves, cougars and bears that he would have to hide from. He realized that it would be very difficult to get to that meadow that Logue told him about, and that his life could be in great danger all the way, even when he arrived at the herd.

"…I think that I would like to go. I would like to have a herd again."

"Good." Logue smiled and nodded. "I think you know what you need to do."

"Logue?" Pip said to the wolf. "Can I stay here a bit longer?"

Logue looked at Pip confusedly, but he smiled gratefully.

"I would like that."

The goat and the wolf sat for some time in that spot, admiring the sights, smells, and sounds of the forest around them, grateful to be near each other. Soon though, Logue began to feel very tired.

"You know Pip, it only really just struck me how much of a paradox _we_ are."

Pip gave a small smile.

"A wolf and a goat, natural enemies, in the same spot." He smiled. "A few months ago, you wouldn't have come near me for all the clover in the world."

"And you would be trying to eat me." Pip added.

"Yeah." Logue chuckled. "Though, in a way, I guess it makes enough sense the two of us could get into a friendship. Goats and wolves are both social animals. I guess when we don't have others of our own kind, we can make due with each other."

Pip smiled, but he was still sad. "I'm going to miss you Logue."

Logue sighed and nodded. "I know. At the very least, I'm glad that I was able to tell you everything I know. It really was like having my family again." Logue's eyes began to droop. "I just want you to know that I'm glad I met you. I'm really sorry that it was because I killed your mother."

"I am too." Pip answered. "I wish that I could have met you some other way, but I don't think that there was any other way for us to meet each other."

"I suppose not. All we can really do in this life is make the most of whatever happens to us, and to be grateful when we can be."

"Thank you for teaching me that, Logue." Pip watched as Logue's eyes drooped more. "Does it hurt?"

"A little." Logue fought to stay awake. "I mostly feel numb now."

"Are you scared?"

"Yes, but less than you'd think." Logue answered. "I've had a longer life than I've heard from any other wolf. It's amazing to me that I manage to live as long as I have, and still be able to hunt." Logue motioned as if to push at his feet, but they had become stiff. "I can tell you Pip, I'm glad to have had the experiences that I had. I'm glad that I was able to see my children grow up. I'm even glad that my son took control of the pack…I'm proud of him…He probably went and had his own pups. Maybe his pups have had pups by now. I could be a great grandfather."

Logue's eyes slowly drooped as the minutes passed by. His breathing was slowed.

"You know," Logue began to say, his voice so raspy Pip could barely hear him. "Maybe, when I wake up, it won't be so hard…"

Logue's eyes closed. His chest stopped rising. He was dead.

Pip didn't stay long, but he could remember looking at the wolf's body for a little while longer. He looked to the mountains, turning his back on the barn, and began to walk.

Pip continued to live after that day, and he struggled. He walked for a very long time, for many days. Eventually, he did find the meadow that Logue had spoke to him about. By that time, the scent of humans and Logue's scent had worn off of him, and when he found the herd they accepted him. Life was still difficult. Logue had never lied to him, and while he had found the goat herd the old wolf had told him about, he also had to run from Logue's old pack. There were seasons where the grass didn't grow, and food was hard to find. It could get cold, and it could get wet. It was difficult for Pip to get used to the lack of a barn or a fence that he could return to. However, he pushed himself to keep on living. Also, there was one thing that he found that he liked about his new herd better than his old herd. While they feared the wolves, and sometimes individual goats would push at the others to make their own lives easier, Pip felt a greater connection to his new family. Like Logue's pack, Pip's new herd had to rely on each other and help each other to survive. In their hardships, they came to see how valuable the grass that they ate, the water that they drank, and the companionship that they provided to each other.

Pip wasn't happy every day, and as I have said, his life was actually very difficult, but I think that it was worth it for him.


End file.
